...

ppl may say anything at first that touches your heart..
and i felt for it.. i believe that u all meant it..
but sooner or later..i realize...those are just words..
even an unknown stranger by the roadside could say that...
so at the first place, why did u fall for it..?
because i believe it.. but now..everythin is just an illusion..
time erodes the past we had...time erase bit by bit the memories we kept..
until there is no more left.. and we go our separates ways...
i suddenly felt lonely... because i just realize somethin that i would never one to know..
i accept the fact however... u go ur own way.. i go my way...


~friendship... real?~


peaced out
thedevil

its time to move on, babe..

i cannot sit down here crying..depressing..complainin..on how life is not fair..because life is always not fair...at first i wanted it so badly...and i depressed not getting it...then God took sympathy on me and give me another chance.. but He did not give it just like that..He put a test on me.. testing my courage..testing whether am i able to handle such difficulty...however...i gave up on the first few days ... because the pain of loosing u guys are so much bigger... the pain of not seeing u are way greater than i ever expected.. i couldnt blend in at the first place..everything was to fast... too fast that i juz sat there n stare out my window..my mind went blank that moment.. even if the tears roll down...i wouldnt bother u wipe it off... it felt as though i lost everythin..everything i wish that i could have until i graduate...the friends that i wish to have... but now..its all gone.. the friends i have here im not sure whether they can be called friends.,..they are not as friendly as u guys.. maybe my mind is manipulating me... my heart shutdown..and thats why i may misjudge ppl around me... i walk alone for the few days...ate alone... why all this negative feeling surrounds me?... is it because i cnt accept the fact that i am here n not there? i want to stop this negative feelings...i want to live my life as though ntg has ever happen... let it be a memory.. where it can never be seen again...but only kept in the very bottom of my heart...

God..i will accept the challenge u behold to me.. i am not a giveuper.. i never am and never will.. because i once said..i will never regret in the decision i made... i accept it and i must face the consequences and make the best out of it... i may lost u guys but i will gain new ones..thats the lesson of life.. we let go of the past... we live the present to the max..and we plan for a better future... i may not have alot of friends now..but i will soon gain more.. i may not know what will happen tomoro...but i can plan for it... i may suffer because of the past... but i will put it aside and look at the bright side.. i may not beaR it and depressed again again...but i will get up again...i will tell myself..there is ntg easy in life...there is always sacrifices we have to make..either good or bad..its up to me on how i think about it..i sacrifice u guys for the sake of a scholarship that would do great for me n my parents...thats the sacrifice i made.... will that be the only one..? loosing friends...no...there will be still more ahead to come...sacrifices that are 10 times worser than loosing friends.. that is the challenge i will soon have to face...

from now on...i will move on..i will live my days like those days i use to.. i will make it a better life to live..i will find new friends that will accompany me... i will not sit down n depress for what cnt be change... i swear i will make my life a better one...


~forget the past...live the present...plan the future~




peaced out
thedevil

what i have to say...

this is one of the worst week i ever have in my entire life...at first...i was darn happy i got jpa..yeah me...wohoo...it stated there i must register at melaka campus..i thought i could continue in melaka..then last thurs melaka admin called and said that i have to go to cyber to register jpa.. then i ask about the melaka one..they said it was wrong...okayy...i got a sense tht i might be studyin in cyber.. but i kept that thought away n hope it doesnt come true.. haiz....who know..when i go on tues... they say must study in cyber... wuuuuuuu..... i was like....shoot...!

they have to register into the hotel that day also...i have no choice...i told them i already started in melaka...but they say continue here..god damn it..i havent prepare yet.... haiz....anywayz... my dad brought all my stufff that very day...and i move in into the hostel... all my work in melaka was undone...everything was half way... my project...my work....

my dear friends...my god..how much i misses u guys... everything goes to sudden...and now i feel an emptiness in my soul...it was pullen away too fast... too fast that i have no time to hold onto it.. im very sorry if i didnt say a proper goodbye... this wasnt meant to be...but i make my decision anyway... i have to continue...i never quit on somethin...i have to fnish it to the end...give me some time...i wll find a day where i can go back n meet u all again...

after a few days they took to arrange my timetable as im the only jpa scholar whom gonna continue my studies here..they finnaly arranged it...im taking 5 subjects this semester...

-Bussiness Management
-Business Statustic
-English II
-Accounting I
-Human Development...

i feel so stressed up..there is project n assignments... haiz...i have to put all my feelings aside and focus...

no mood to blog anyway...



peaced out
thedevil

at last...!

after months of waiting for those damn scholarships..
and after a few times kena rejected..
finally....one accepted me...=]
i am now officially under jpa scholarship...
unless some unexpectedly happen...
cross my finger it wont....! ><
haha.....
although i didnt get the scholarship to overseas..
atleast i get la..
no need to burden u too much already...=]
i thx God for helping me...

ok ok...
so long didnt update.....
why o why o why..
sick lo...cough lo..
some human being pass their disease to me..
sorry jess...u also kena di...=(
anyways.....
this week i registered 4 clubs...!
haha...hope i can manage all of it...hahhahaha...
simply go take so many...
well...i joined archery,fencing, SPB and SIFE.... lol..
i did went for the tryout for archery..waliau men.,..
i hold the acher until my hands feels like dropin off...
anyway..it was fun..=]
then, i did went to my first fencing meeting..
i learned their steps..and now leg cramp..=="
haha...first time ..nvm lo..can tahan di....
tomoro SPB meeting....wohooo...!
haha....

today, my group for human development, we planned finish how to do our video!!
yosh..! cant wait to get started...! i trust my group members..
we can do it...haha...because our plans was awesome..XDDDD
XD



peaced out
thedevil

sick la...!

haiz...very hard update blog..sudah jatuh sakit leh....tangan nak taip pun susah..
update lain kali ye..!



peaced out
thedevil

Final Exam Result...

after a couple of weeks struggling to study for the final semester exam...walah...
the result is finally out....XD
well, consider mine not that bad...although i expected more out of me...
i expected all As..manatau... that idiotic B wanna join also..
xpela...u join can...but i will make sure u never make the group again..
muahahah...XD...=.-"...lolx...

Bussiness Mathematics : A+
Economics I : A
English I : A
Computer Applications I : B+


i do mind map for computer applications and ended up with a B+...=.-"
swtz....all my hard work ..pay off with a B+...God la...
nevermind...blame myself for last minute...haha.... ish ...ish...
plz la...no more last minute ya...if not ..i smack u...=]

english...haiz...my mother tongue language..haha..dapat A nia... nevermind...
i can improve it....yosh!

Econs...haha...can la...A pun boleh.....=]

Maths...this one....im juz...=]


my CGPA was 3.89....ok for first timer like me... i aimed higher can?
can or not?
why the hell not...
=]

this result shows where i stand...
it tells me how to improve..
and where to improve..
dont give up ya...
fight this ur very last breath...^^


peaced out
thedevil

Randomz....

this is just random..im kinda bored...i 'ter' read something about image...our image..
well, is image or more simpler appearance that important??
lolx..most of our parents especially mine said that our image are super super..
i mean super important... is that so?
haha...lets debate it...debate with who..?
myself la..=.-"
i know i know..im freakin weird...haha...

let me ask myself...is appearance that important??
one side of my brain say yes... super yes..
but the other one say no..
=="
wats wrong with me la..XD

why yes..?
like that...
have u ever heard of first impression?
well, everyone says first impression is abaolutely important..
it determines how newcomers or the higher people looks at u..
it is how they judge u..
by first looking at u...
if ur dressin smart with ur hair neatly tied up..
ur clothing ironed properly...
shoes polished..
they will go..'oh, this person here will do great'..
that is how they judged u..
that is why everyone wears formally when they go interview..
because by dressin up properly, u will look a level higher than u usually do.
not only that, dressin up properly makes u look prettier n also smarter..
imagine if ur finding a boyfriend..
p/s: sorry guys...im a 'gurl'..so find boyfriend not gurlfriend..XD
shit...! sexual discrimanation...! lolx..=.-"
ok ok..
imagine if u wanna find a bf/gf..
the first thing u will look at is..the appearance..
that is the experience i've been through..
u will look whether the dude/girl looks..
if she/he is not good looking..
u will ditch them aside n hunt for the others..
isnt that obvious?
who dont wana date the hottest gurl/dude..?
lolx...dun wanna end up dating a hideous gurl/guy do ya?
this is bad of me to say...
haha..thats the opinion of one side of my brain...XD



well....
my another side of brain said...
appearance is not that important..
what is the most important is ur inner self..
appearance may be important..but it only takes 20 %..
80% are ur attitude... on how u perform...
u may not dress properly...but its ok..
u can cover that all up by showin how u perform,..
if u can perform good enough, it doesnt matter if u looked ugly or fat..
because everyone will pay attention on how u perform..
wats the use of a good looking dude/gurl with peabrain?
haha...im discrimating all the hot-looking people..
they may looked good inside..but who knows..
rotten in the inside...
let me give u an example...
have u ever watched 'ugly betty'...
this series is superb good....
it tell me how a so-not-good-looking gurl can succeed in her life..
did i mention it included her love life..=]
not all guys look at outer beauty..
some of them are findin the inner beauty of a person..
they look on the real u..
ur physical appearance is just a skin,..
the real u is inside of u...
all we have to do is find that confidence in the inner u..
if u can find that, it doesnt matter how u look..
that confidence u have will make u the most beautiful one among the others..



hha...
so the conclusion is...
u decide urself...=]







peaced out
thedevil