One Heart..One Love..One Hope..

One Heart..One Love..One Hope..

Friday, April 30, 2010

my sincere apology...

this post i dedicated to my fren who have to struggle between u and me..
i've been thiking..
n its my fault ..
because of it..ur stuck between..
so sorry ..
i have no idea wat else to do..
my sincere apology to u....

peaced out

Thursday, April 29, 2010

life like that...

u're no longer talking to me..
i guess ur doing that because that is what exactly i did to u..
is that revenging?
i dunno...only u know the answer..
anyway..its fair for the way u to that ..cuz i did it to u before..
so..why not?..
how long u plan to continue like that?

anyway..u said i do not deserve ur "loyalty"
wow...thats somethin i didnt expect..
anyway...i only know u a few month..
i know my standard..i dont deserve that so called loyaltly..
u do not have to spit that word on my face..
if ppl who are sensitive enough...imagine wat they have to go through..
sometimes u have to think before u say something like that..
i never say i deserved ur sounds weird..
i juz wanna be friends..
like u say once be ur best fren takes at least a year..
well..its only a few months..
so loyalty doesnt come in..
i dont expect ppl to be loyal to me..unless i really know them..
if i have that feelin then i trust them..
thats when loyalty came in...
do u trust me?
if i dont deserve ur loyalty..then u dont trust me..
that simple rite..?
dont misunderstand it n make it complicated..
coz this damn easy to understand..

peaced out

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


salmon was juz swimmin by when the gold fish spotted her..
the gold fish cared for salmon.. n salmon was kinda happy..
salmon was never true to her feelings..
salmon was waitin for the right time..
gold fish maybe was concern bout salmon's feeling..
but salmon never tell..
after a couple of month passes by..
salmon realised gold fish has already have a black fish by it side..
salmon knew gold fish was tired of waitin..
gold fish even gave black fish an unique coral..
so..salmon juz have to let go..
salmon knew black fish was the right one for gold fish..
because black n gold suits perfectly..
salmon was now invincible among the other fishes...
gold fish was no more eyeing salmon..
salmon have no choice but to be invicible again....
salmon have no choice but to let go...

u once saw it and wanted it..
u took care of it for quite some time..
then u got tired of it...
and u break it..
and now i have to put it back together..alone..
if u know u gonna break it one day..
why do u desire it at first?
why cant u juz leave it alone..
puttin the pieces back together is not easy..
because ur not duin it..i am..
it was perfect at the beginin..
strong n tough...
n now its broken...puttin it together makes it weaker..
cracks line is one every single surface of it..
u wanted it...but now..
why break it...? why...

peaced out

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Matriculation in Perlis....0.0

On last sat, 17 april..supposed to be one of my happies friend reminded me about the matriculation result that was released a day before it...damn me..forget to check..^^"
so, I smsed them...n this is what i get.....

. NO KP: 921104*&^%$^.
DAFTAR : 10/5/2010

wtf men! at first when i looked at the word "berjaya" happy men.. then read sumore..saw the word "PERLIS".. mata pun terbeliak..maybe im blind...i reread again..serious, matriculation in Perlis....T T...c'mon la men...i didnt apply for Perlis.. I only apply for Melaka, Negeri Sembilan or Penang...why waste my chances by sendin me to perlis..?!!?!? why...!?!?
damn u people...==...perlis is like freakin small n freaking far at the border of malaysia-thailand..=="..

haiz...anyways...should i go? i have been thiking it for a few days... haiz..jpa scholarship n mmu scholarship only comin out in may and i need to register the matric on 10 may... wat a coincidense..great.....T T...

haiz...think la dude..think harder...dun wanna regret later.. i think di lor...think until my head wanna crack..bloody shit la..==

peaced out

Monday, April 19, 2010

Back to normal ba...

let everythin be normal again ok...can u do that?
or u wan it to be like that forever...
i dont have forever to wait..

peaced out

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hari Anugerah Cemerlang+Ex CPRians outing+mum birthday..XD

Today woke up at 530 am just to attend the Hari Anugerah cemerlang in my ex-school...lolx.. at least i feel appreciated...haha..n get cash too~.. XD.... reach there at 730 am...the earliest ! none of my clazzmates were there...most of them came around 830am...=="...stupid me of goin so usual...speeches..more speeches..last time were only 2 ppl talking now extra one old lady...waliau...30 mins men she talk..zzzz...=="..then the prize giving time..XD..haha....more money! rewards are........*drum roll*

~Pelajar terbaik 5 Cemerlang 2009~
~Pelajar terbaik matapelajaran Prinsip Perakaunan~
~Pelajar terbaik Matapelajaran Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesihatan~--> *this is really bullshit*==
~Pelajar Cemerlang Spm 2009~

Haha...although it doesnt seem that much..but anyway..i accomplished somethin in my life after 11 years of studies..worth every effort...=]

then later at 11am, my friends and i sat a cab to Time Square...haha...first time sit cab leh...., i not anak manja..just my parents rather fetch me go then letting me sit a cab..however, today was different..i didnt tell them i was sittin a cab....=="...haha...bad of me.. went jalan jalan fer a while with..... mahisha, pui pui, yin ying, elaine, yoges, nanthini, yoges, mariam, nanthini, my sis, sharmaine and evon....waliau...alot of ppl... haha...around 1230pm... laparlu...makan kfc...==" ... like no other things better to eat...haiz...XD..anyway, it was fullfillin..haha...bloated la.. then jalan jalan again...gurls ma..shoppin...usual la..then we go bowling.. nice nice...first time was fun that i can gather n hang out with them again...

half way of the game, my sayang called me..lolx..waitin at papa johns...=="...rush all the way down...saw her nice..long time no c...then we chit chatted bout..."stuff"...then picture time...==" not into it..but anyway..take only la...haha...XD

the outin ended at 4pm..aww..thats the hardest say goodbye is not my expertise.. have to choice..but dont worry guys...there is always next time..=]

8pm......dinner with family...mums hut...=="...lunch kfc...dinner pizza hut..
habis la my diet plan...==..nvm la..special occasions only...XD....birthday cake..cuppocino cheese cake...0.0.....more sugar....diabetes....choi!...XD


at last...manage to get things straighted out.....thx dude...i feel better...=]

peaced out

Friday, April 16, 2010

Threesome Outing...XD

On 15 april, Melaka is having a public a day before that i planned go Pahlawan with Amelia n Jess...But that night my dad say no..T T...haiz...

however, the mornin of 15 apr, he knock on my door n say he's goin to Muar and later come back n fetch me to Pahlawan...what the...haha..anyway..still happy...quickly called jess...8am in the mornin...^^"..she and her sleepy voice..lolx... then we planned go watch 'Clash of The Titans'
reached there around 12pm...suprisingly, there were not many people at the ticket booth n its public holiday...weird...=="... the movie supposed to start at 1230pm but we waited until 1220pm then only can enter...swt.... well, the movie was awesome...lolx..a lil bit of screamin here n there..^^" haha... but the endin was ..what the...lolx... he killed a cracken which said the be the most dangerous creature with the medusa head...c'mon la..that easy meh? =="

after the movie, we walk around and we went into a japanese store..bought kinda lot of stuff..i spend almost 30 bucks there..haha~.. Jess bought 2 keychains...=]... then later went to lunch at a sushi restauran..lolx..kinda expensive..but nvm la..spend only.. order here n there and in the end the bill came up...walah...! rm27.50...0.0..thats only lunch men..lolx..anyway, jess have to leave early to catch a bus to her left me n amelia...lolx...went to find her sis and friends..then jalan jalan sumore...haha~ at last, reach home around 6pm.. fuuuuuuuu...~ really exhausted..kinda happy to be goin out n relaxin...

eveythin spoilt after readin it.... u know what i meant..god damn u...


peaced out

Thursday, April 15, 2010


the past midnight of 14 apr, im sorry if i've cut u off just like that.. im juz too tired to bear with all that and ur not tellin me it.. seriously, yesterday i was very very tired..

peaced out

Let go...

Im not emoing....juz somethin i get to know from somewhere..

In life, we always want something, and we do just anything to get it or to own it. but is it possible to get it just be cause we desire it or we want it so badly...? if it is an object, okay fine..we can get it.. but what if its not an object, but maybe a person or sumthing else other than an object? is it possible to own it just like that because we wanted to? well, sometimes we cannot own everythin..there is always other factors and sacrifices that have to be made..

sometimes, if u want it so badly, u have to sacrifice it by letting it go. why? because not only u wanted it, but others desire it too... I know u wanted it since the beginning but u felt as though its gonna slip away from ur hands n fall into the hands of others..... but when i see how happy u are, i know that how important it is to willing to let it all go and step aside from ur way, so that u can get willin to let go n sacrifice my needs for ur sake... i felt like im the big rock in ur river blockin ur path from reuniting with the big, i break myself into pieces so that u can flow towards it... although i will lose sumthin.. but i believe, in time to come..i will not regret it..cause i never regret whatever decision i make...i hoped i will not...

looks like im emoing....=/

peaced out

Yosh! JPA interview!....=]

Few days ago, I was super depressed as I missed the interview...Then i sent them a email with valid reasons that was helped by my econs lecturer, they allowed me to retake the interview few days later...I got another chance..XD.. One day before the interview, my lecturer seriously drilled me with super spicy questions.. I felt like dying searching for the right answer..however, I manage to answer it. I really owe him one, he really did help me alot and I really appreciated it...

On the day of the interview, I woke up at early..just to make sure i wont be there late... went to Putrajaya, and it was kind of hard to find the place as the signboards was everywhere..=="...however, I manage to get there at 7am.. 1 hour earlier..lolx..super excited .. unfortunately, my beautiful name was not listed..T T... haha~ waited until 830am when they asked me to fill in a form...and then terus interview..0.0...waliau..didnt expect it to be super fast..
I was numbered the second person.. Went into Panel 6, i accidentally greeted the judges a lil bit too loud...^^ ".... the judges was all Malay and both of them was old and the other slightly younger...

that interview was separated into 2 parts. the first part was to introduce urself in Bahasa melayu and the second part was group discussion in english..lolx... when it was my turn, i kinda stumble on my own words.. lolx..forget my Bahasa..lolx..anyway, the 2nd discussion was kinda good..
we were asked to choose n give our opinions on public transport n private car...lolx..that went well i thinked..but i didnt expect them to asked such easy questions..lolx...i thought they maybe will asked bout the latest news or hot issues..lucky me i think..XD

im really sorry that i cause one of my fren sick...she helped me the night before on 1 Malaysia..and the next day, she was sick...T T ..paise la... when the interview was over, shaked hands with judges n went out... haiz...wearin high heels was killing my toes! T T... the skin peeled off...*ouch*...damn...i hate high heels! curse them!!! =="

after that, terus go back melaka...still got clazz lu...haiz..tired like hell... after the 5pm clazz, went to see the guys play basketball..waliau..ganas nak mampus! play like hell only ....XD.. thx god i didnt join....sure die on the spot..XD....then at 730, went for a banking policy seminar..was so much better than wtf seminar...but too bad, i cant barely concentrate...c'mon la.. i woke up at 5 am until 11pm men...and im still blogging...^^

haha~ thats all from me dudes....!

peaced out

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Thikin of it......=(

I have this habit of lying down on my bed everynite..stare at the dark hollow ceilin n just think..
it may sound normal to u..but I did that everynite before I went to bed..

Recently, there is so many things to think bout..not only mine but urs too.. i kept thikin bout that specific day... I never regret in the decision i made..but somehow, I feel like im gonna regret for doin this.. I shouldnt have made that move..but its all too late to go T T
gonna come out with something...

Besides that unforgettable matter, there is always somethin to worry about in my life..
I recently misses the jpa interview which is super super super important..haiz.. that is over..
there is others too...there is this ASEAN scholarship to Singapore...I applied it..and they will reply me in 3 Month time.. I was wondering ..if i really got it..will I go? There is so many factors to think about...firstly, i worked so hard, and i deserved a better i? secondly, my family wanted me to get the best education if i can get it. 4th, am i able to cope up if i study there? dude...S'pore level is super hyper high.. dont wanna come bck M'sia as a failure..No way..!
the last but not least, i have frens over here..

Im not the type who can easily make frens.. If i can get some close ones..that would be nice.. and so far, I have some .. I f I leave.. I will lose them.. I dont wanna that to happen..cuz i hate making new ones.. its kinda hard..wanna know them...wanna trust them...T T

haiz....~ not only grandparents wanted me to shift back to Cyberjaya Campus..
c'mon la...i wanted somewhere far from idea of college is sumthing that i away from home..i wanna be independent so one day i will not depend on u juz to survive.. so, i kept declining it.. I will not go bck Cyber..unless, i seriously have no choice..but i love Melaka..its peaceful..=] conclusion..i juz go with the flow.. whatever comes..i will decide on that time... how bout it? my life my decision..not urs....

peaced out

A so Unperfect Sunday Mornin...

This is my first sunday I didnt go back to KL. So, I plan to wake up at 9am, maybe do some revision or something.. unfortunately, my Dad called me up at 750 am..==.. tired la wey.. quickly dressed up and went to the temple to pray.. My Grandpa just recovered from surgery.. So, its worth my time to wake up early in the mornin just to ask blessings to bless u...=]

Had my breakfast a lil bit early.. dried yee mee..=]... My clazzmates planned to go to the lake near MITC for a picnic.. I wanted to go at first... but my dad said no but in the end...after my super sweet persuading words..he said yes..haha..=]

But somehow, I dont feel like going anymore..Dunno what gotta into me.. The mood of before that completely dissapear... haiz..~ anyways...its ok...but sorry for not accompanyin u..

smsed Jess for a date in the library...haha...kononnya nak study...

Date: 11/4/2020
Venue: Multimedia University Digital Library (super romantic..==)
Time: 1230pm..

I was still online at around 1145 am..chatin with ma sis..haha..then I quickly sweep n mop the house floor..T T..i feel like a choice lu... i think i almost crack my spines..XD.. I didnt realise it was already 1215pm..0.0...quickly dressed up pack my bags in 10 huh.? usually, gurls will take atleast 30 mins to dressed up..haha...why? well, gurls need to make up, powder their face here n there... comb their hair.. lipgloss...hand bag...etc etc... criticising gurls.. haha...

anyways, quickly walk to the uni..walk super fast like im being followed..lolx.. after a super mad rush..finally..i felt the cool air from the library....=)..ahhhh....nice.. The funniest thing i saw today is Jess sewings Vic backpack...the handle of the bag tore..i think because me n Jess kept pulling it...XD.. anyway, his pants at the knee level was tore.... n Jess sew it look like a sticth..lolx..
He fell down n mydin..hahaha...Careless dude...

Then later walk to Ixora.. lunch! bumped into Lee... lolx...
Spend atleast 3 hours in the library. at first, I was planning to study..but no mood pulak..haiz..
play comp games...==.. great..wasted the whole Sunday.. Then, he went off to picnic.. lolx..

A boring n wasted Sunday huh?

==...Gotta study men..Finals around the corner...0.0

peaced out

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Swimmin Lesson number 1...XD

Thursday night, planned go swimming friday evening .. lolx..first time i break my limit and my rule. haiz..anyways.. i break another rule...0.0..i Went to pong? haha..that is not breaking the rule la.. i went to play.....Sn....r...haha..u think urself ba.. Then, around 4pm, the whether was like hell..hotter than KL..==.. So, since I was super hyper thirsty, We went to Mory Cafe and i ordered bubble tea which is way expensive than pasar malam..==..haha~ finally 5 pm..went to ixora.. such a coincidence, we bumped into Lee Thean Soong( The joker). Went to the guard house juz to put our ID there.. n the guard say, "tak boleh masuk bilik ya" ==.. what the shit la.. haha~

atlast, swimmin la. jus go there n dirty up the water..XD.. I didnt expect Mario to turned up..lolx..anyways.. stupid idea came into my brain..haha... i filled in ballon with water n started playin with it..=.+...lolx... played until 7.15pm...0.0..dark lu...

Dinner at a malay restaurant....==..again.... haiz..running out of place to eat... T T.. after dinner around 7.45 pm..walk back home...they teman me back...aww..hhaha... stupid me..i left my files at the restaurant..haiz..pusing balik... seberang jalan..lari sikit...dapat file....lari balik...seberang jalan sekali lagi...jalan balik rumah..==..

unlucky me, went back home, had a nice warm my laptop..suddenly thought of jpa..
quickly check...oh...there an interview for me...yeah....! so excited...quickly downloaded it....and then...==

Interview Date: 8 April....


but now is 9 April! kenasai! Haiz...~
emoing...................still emoing............ T T

Peaced out

Friday, April 9, 2010

Love Relationship....

In these past few days, my lecturer and one of my friend kinda discuss bout love..sounds weird for a dude like me to be talking bout it as i never talked bout it the past few years..why? haha..well, i prefer not to involve in that relationship. I had a feeling that if I fall in love, I may want it to last forever. But, after seeing what my friends go through during their relationship, some are happy endings but some are just a break up ending.. I dont wanna put myself in that position.. yes, Im very protective. I protect myself because myself come first before others. It may sound stupid, but I make promise to myself that I wouldnt let myself fall in love. Even if I did.. I will not show it..
For now, I only wanted to score my studies..nothing else but that.. I manage to focus all out on my studies for 5 years in high school... but after entering college..everything started to mess up.. only 18 and im still very Naive..there is so many things to learn... I want to learn...

my lecturer said something bout 'love transmutation' where we use the love as a fuel to boost your passion for your studies and career. well, I dont believe bout that. For me, once I fall in Love, I might always miss that person n wanting to hear his voice n etc. I am not ready for that.
I do not prefer taking the risked. It does sound like im a coward. but everything i do, i put myself first. Education always i mean always come first. Taking risk is not my expertise..

anyway, whats wrong with single troubles.. freedom... lolx... so, I conclude.. i close the door of my heart for this moment period of time...till further notice..=]

peaced out