its time to move on, babe..

i cannot sit down here crying..depressing..complainin..on how life is not fair..because life is always not fair...at first i wanted it so badly...and i depressed not getting it...then God took sympathy on me and give me another chance.. but He did not give it just like that..He put a test on me.. testing my courage..testing whether am i able to handle such difficulty...however...i gave up on the first few days ... because the pain of loosing u guys are so much bigger... the pain of not seeing u are way greater than i ever expected.. i couldnt blend in at the first place..everything was to fast... too fast that i juz sat there n stare out my window..my mind went blank that moment.. even if the tears roll down...i wouldnt bother u wipe it off... it felt as though i lost everythin..everything i wish that i could have until i graduate...the friends that i wish to have... but now..its all gone.. the friends i have here im not sure whether they can be called friends.,..they are not as friendly as u guys.. maybe my mind is manipulating me... my heart shutdown..and thats why i may misjudge ppl around me... i walk alone for the few days...ate alone... why all this negative feeling surrounds me?... is it because i cnt accept the fact that i am here n not there? i want to stop this negative feelings...i want to live my life as though ntg has ever happen... let it be a memory.. where it can never be seen again...but only kept in the very bottom of my heart...

God..i will accept the challenge u behold to me.. i am not a giveuper.. i never am and never will.. because i once said..i will never regret in the decision i made... i accept it and i must face the consequences and make the best out of it... i may lost u guys but i will gain new ones..thats the lesson of life.. we let go of the past... we live the present to the max..and we plan for a better future... i may not have alot of friends now..but i will soon gain more.. i may not know what will happen tomoro...but i can plan for it... i may suffer because of the past... but i will put it aside and look at the bright side.. i may not beaR it and depressed again again...but i will get up again...i will tell myself..there is ntg easy in life...there is always sacrifices we have to make..either good or bad..its up to me on how i think about it..i sacrifice u guys for the sake of a scholarship that would do great for me n my parents...thats the sacrifice i made.... will that be the only one..? loosing friends...no...there will be still more ahead to come...sacrifices that are 10 times worser than loosing friends.. that is the challenge i will soon have to face...

from now on...i will move on..i will live my days like those days i use to.. i will make it a better life to live..i will find new friends that will accompany me... i will not sit down n depress for what cnt be change... i swear i will make my life a better one...


~forget the past...live the present...plan the future~




peaced out
thedevil