enough...im tired...

two more weeks..before the first trimester end..still.... no communication ...
however...u seem happier.. laughing with bunch of frens..
while i stupidly making my life misery by thiking bout it..
u dont seem to bother... do i need to care....?
that is a stupid question...of course i need to.. im a divider between u ppl..
i dont wanna do that...

i hate myself for putting u guys into that condition..
and most, i hate myself for putting myself into this condition..
college years should be fun for me.. as i wanted it..
i wanted to balance it...
i wanted to change for a better me..
i thought ' hey, i could be different... i could start fresh.. be more socialable..why not?'
because no one there know the real me..except myself..
unfortunately, i ended up like this...
i conclude...its my fault that i ended up like this...
i should have known better to watch my steps..
but i accidentally took the wrong one..

all this thiking have got to stop..
i cannot bear thiking bout it when u dont even bother...
thiking it makes me more exausted..
really silly of me...
so, i had enough of all those stuff...
i give up.. i have no idea what is the next step...
i let u decide ba... i let the situation decide...
yes or no... who gives a damn..

it may sound like im selfish..
but im sorry... i really tired..
if i keep thikin..who knows....what will happen... i myself cannot predict...


but, can i stop thikin?
that one i have to answer myself....
..
....
.....



peaced out
thedevil