Merry Christmas !...^^

said.



"Blessed Merry Christmas...! I know its a day away but hey, Christmas mood already lah. Anyway, Christmas gas been a significant season, or as they called it festivity. I dont call it a festivity for me. I dont believe in Santa. But I believe in Christ who was born on 25th about 2k year ago. Christmas is more than significant, Its when my ex, you know who, asked me to be his girlfriend. This I'd never forget, but as you've said, move on. And you're right. After the youth camp Ive went,Ive actually learn alot. To be humble, To love your enemies, to deal with problems but dont be scared of it. Just wanna let you know that, Im thankful. I thank God for you. As you were there for me.I appreciate. I really do. And as we grow up, I really pray that we'd never lose contact. No matter in what circumstances. Take care k."


I will always be there. no matter up or down. as u were also there for me..From the inner and bottom of my heart, im greatful to have a buddy like you. we will never lose contact..i promise you that..ah..I love you, buddy..cross my finger so badly..we will always stay in touch...Merry Christmas...=]


Although couldnt celebrate Christmas with u. atleast, you're still there... you're the best christmas gift that a person can ever want...X)...wishing the gift would last..X)



Merry Christmas..^^



saranghae
Eva

My christmas wish list..!

ooo....Christmas is so around the corner..!!
let me seee...what i want eh...


1. The story books i drool over in MPH...(ask from mum perhaps?)
2. The teddy bear I yearns to hug....!
3. more rings...lol..(imma collector)..X)
4. i wanna tattoo my hands...
5. ipod touch...(grandma, i wan one..lol..)
6. the only intangible item. is you.


Christmas is the day where u gather around with family n friends and enjoy those moments....
its not actually bout the gifts, but the warm feeling u get from surrounded by your love ones..
enjoy the day..love the ppl whom love u back...its a special day anywayz..=]

My Christmas wishes are that short..lol...
anyways...i cross my fingers, ur Christmas wish come true as well...=]




saranghae,
Eva

Blank...

why is my so different..
looking at others..
so indifferent.
am i wrong.?
i become speechless.
typical me.
pain.suffer.again?

Nightmare...

The pain that run through my body the whole yest night...
causes me my sleeep..
i woke up..
n it stills hurts..
taken medicine..
and it still hurts..
add on to that..
i dreamt of u..
woke up, tears was in my eyes..
hoping it would only be a dream..

im dying out of this damn pain.



peaced out,
Eva

Confused....

I.dunno.wat.to.feel.now.
wat.r.u.thinking?.
i.can.barely.able.to.guess.
cuz.ur.not.sharing.it.with.me.
why not.?
am.i.nt.worthy.enough.to.be.trusted.
its.getting.to.me.
its.affecting.me.
i.have.no.idea.
can.u.be.open.?
at.least.let.me.share.with.u.
haiz.
i.dnt.knw.wat.to.think.
wat.to.say.
wat.to.do.
all.i.can.do.
i.also.dunno.wat.can.i.do.
all.i.know.is.that.im.confused.
sigh.

dunt.wanna.repeat.my.past.
i.dun.wanna.it.to happen.to.me.again.
i.dun.wanna.mend.it.all.over.again.
its.tiring.its.hurting.its.painful.
i.once.promised.
n.u.break.it.
haiz.




peaced out
thedevil




peaced out
thedevil

Something is so not right.....=(

i thought the sleeping problem was juz a minor one...who knows...damn.
went to bed at 2am, ended waking up at 3am..nightmare....= =...fuck.
the who night..i can barely close m eyes..everytime i close, it opens back..damn.
ended waking up at 6.30am..why?....no electricity...shiet.
i was awake by the sound of the fan stopping...sensitive aint i..?
no, cuz i wasnt really asleep. fuck.






peaced out
thedevil

My 100th Post...!!!

yay...~
this is my 100th post..!!
wonder what so big deal...heheh....

tired.but cnt slee.insomnia.?.no way.
thinking too much.?.maybe.
who.?.you perhaps.aw.
have to get some rest.or i'll breakdown soon.
=(.
why.why.why.
haiz.




peaced out
thedevil

Beta...? Degree......O.O....

in juz an estimation of 2 more months...i will be in degree level..no more foundation...thats freaking fast dude...!!! i havent enjoyed my foundation to the max yet! n i feel old now...lol..most of my friends in Cyber are still in foundation except mua..plus, goin to degree means makin new friends...gr...history repeats itself...gack..! i couldnt sleep at nite...this was one of the matter bothering me..would i ever be able to cope up in degree...? there's this fear in me that i might fail....T.T...negative of me...zz..for years i have not fail..failing once, will i ever get up again..? or will i juz stay down...? argh..damn it...stop thiking...zz..




how true am i to my own feelings...i can see...i can feel...but its hard for me to say..zz...


anyways, Happy Birthday dude...wishing the best for ya....X)


peaced out
thedevil

The Past that shaped my Present....

I thank my past for who i am now..if it wasnt for the mistakes i did...i will be the same brat as i use to be...when i was in lower primary..i did all the bad stuff u ppl think a kid will never do..well..i did it..n im not proud of it..i hurt the ppl around me that loves me...i loose the years of friendship i built...i regretted for what i did..but that past i swore to not repeat...n from that moment i change..from the first year i enter i high school...i swore not to repeat those years i wasted..
I changed...not for the worse..but for the better..i started from the 3rd class..i move on from there...i swore i will aim for the best...n i did..i got what i wan..there is a moment when i felt happy..but after that...total blankness...i was unsure..why am i studying so hard...when i did my best...all they can say is..u can do better..n their expectation gets higher and higher without any limitations...through out my whole secondary life..the only thing that u kept duin was study...tuition..school..entertainment was barely visible on my list... n i can stand it..i get what i wan..i scored my spm...
applying for a scholarhip is so hard...my parents remind me when i was in high school..study hard n u can get a scholarship...for all the hard work i did..to even get a scholarship is as hard as hell..what a waste..entering college..i hope for a better life...a life which i can control...but sometimes...i need to be control..or i will loose track...im now unsure whehter am i on the right track...i am maintaining my current situation...zz....



but..college life do seem alot better...=]




peaced out
thedevil

Sleepless Night.....=(

Recently...i can barely fall asleep...grr...i dunno why...i know im tired...but everytime i lie on the bed...i ended up staring at the ceiling..maybe im thiking too much gua..im not having insomnia am i?...O.O...haha...hope not..i even woke up early...wtf..i usually woke up super late during holidays...haha...T.T...

Holidays have started...n it only last a week...have assignments n stuff to do...not to mention midterm..T.T...feel so restless..what to dooooooooo....lol..wanted to go Time Square on monday...who wan cum..?..XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD



p.s: i love dimples...kawaiiii..=]




peaced out
thedevil

A Pleasant Memory..

Wednesday was a public holiday...An outing was planned...we went to Sunway..lol..stupidly...that was my first time to sunway...>.<....haha...the night before that, i could barely sleep..not due to excitement..well, partially excited..alot of think is goin through my mind...zz..in the end, ended up sleepin at 3am n woke up at 7am...=____=..sitting in my fren car sumore la..dizzy dizzy...haha anyway..the outing was awesome though...haha..we actually wanted to karoke..ended up not goin...then we wanted to go scream park...also ended up not going...zz...we ended up playing archery..ahh..so nice..i should get back to training...hehe..been skipping for some time though...

Then, we went to ice skating...grrr...wearing the skates itself n standing up on solid floor itself also i can barely make it..haha..i predicted, the first thing i step into the ring, i will fall flat on my feet...n i did..=___=..wat an embarassment..i can barely control my legs..haha...in conclusion..i feel twice on my freaking ass...damn...haha...to add my embarassment..can barely stand up..dunno how to..zz..for the whole miserable one round..i was hanging my life on the side bar of the ring...haha...shiet..i pull myself all the way to the exit..twisted my foot though..grr...so i went out after going one round..i can barely feel my feet..haha..
zz...so i sat there n wait..

u came out n teman me..aww..so kind of u...kept forcing u in..u degil...thick skin..haha..anyways...thank u..though wasting ur money lu..T.T...lol...then later we went for dinner...Mr.Teppenyaki!!!!!...yay...nice nice...plus watermelon juice...=]]]..the we went for movie...'unstoppable'..nice show...adrenaline rush..haha..then later we went back..not bad though...it was fun..cuz gt u ma..haha..wanna hangout more...XD


~i dont mind being tease anyway..~




peaced out
thedevil

Thank u...

u said.

~ today's the date where it's my 1st crush birthday. i had a crush with him for 2 years and i never confessed. i regretted not confessing. but i juz wanna tell u that when life is hard. take one step at de time. if u're liking somebody or missing somebody. take it slow. if he;s meant for u, he's yours. if not, den der's another guy out there. jus wanna tell u also. even if de world dislike u or betray u 1 day.i'll nver do it. coz i found a true fren. indeed a true fren. de one dats willing yo give constructive critisms and advices. u were there when i was sad/happy thanks alot. i cant describe how appreciative i am, so, honestly im not used saying stuff like this so yeah. juz wanna let u know dat if u need anone, jz come to me. i'll help whenever possible~.


thx u my dear fren..



peaced out
thedevil

No longer underage..!!! yay....!

im now living the life i was born in..with intentions, hope an
awwd faith..
thx babes n dudes for the wishes...
some ppl may forget..
but as long as they are still there.. then its ok...
i celebrated earlier..with my family..although its simple..
the warm feeling is still there..
awww...i really really appreciate it..
it may a little bit lonely....
but i can manage it..
with those supports ...ntg is impossible for me..=]


EUNICE CHIN, u noob head...i owe u much...u r one of the closest school mate that is still with me..i really do appreciate it..u were there during those hard moments..
if i did any mistake, i apologise...u r truly a good fren..and i really appreciate the sms u send me that day...eunice ah...saranghae...=]


i love u peeps...



peaced out
the devil

im pathetic...

who am i kidding..
yea..u laugh at me..i was the joke..
i suck at it..
but why laugh..
u know how badly hurt is it..
damn it..




peaced out
thedevil

Camping or cousin's full moon...? =/

Gomenasai no update blog...lazy ah..lol...pluz busy..haha...
its almost the end of the October...November coming...hehe...My day coming...
CLS...aka...chinese language society is having a camp at sg congkak..dunno where the hell is that on 5,6 and 7 nov..at the same time..my cousin full moon on 6nov...ish..
maybe i can use that reason to ditch camping..
im not fond in camping anyway..after that super bad experience happened when i was in form 4...haha...
dun wanna repeat history eh..
but thiking it again..i promise nt to dump my fren alone..zz...think..think...
the best part is..it all happens rite after my birthday...
am i gonna die the day after i was born?
haha...>.<...

anyway...goin to a camp seems more extreme compare to attending cousin's full moon ritE? JEEZ.....
maybe..juz maybe..camping will be my pick...cross my finger i dnt choose the wrong one..haha...imagine i got lost n stranded in the jungle(if there is one)...haha...


since my big day is coming n it falls on a THURSDAY..!!!!...jeez...who wanna celebrate with me??? anyone...anyone?


peaced out
thedevil

Speakin Test...plus a memory i wanted it to last..

The past tuesday night...i was on my way back to melaka...why..MUET..ish..lol..
but MUET gave me an opportunity to meet my friends whom i left back in melaka..
i promised them pizza..and we had them..it was nice to have old memories brought back again...juz four of us sitting together..walking back the same past we took months ago..jeez..those time was wonderful..but anyway...at least..i had a great time..i really do...X)..

that tuesday night, i slept on the long couch..unfortunately, there is no bed for me in my dad house...lol...thx God the bed is soft enough..haha..then the next day..dim sum..ahhh...so nice..long time no teman my dad makan..sigh...if only i didnt shift to cyber...JPA might have change my life in so many ways...but some are good..some are bad as well..lol...anywayz...after that, i was like 2 hours early for the test. so i went to the library..no one was there...ah...melaka library is so much comfortable..sitting at that particular spot bring back old memories..where we struggle side by side juz to sit the finals..wow..i realised how fast time passes by...3o mins before the test started..i was already waiting...time passes by super slow when u r waiting men! last but not least....here it comes..oh shiet...candidate A...great..why o why o why...lucky us, when our 2 mins to brainstorm ideas was up, the eexaminer have to leave the room fer awhile..extra time for me dude..! haha...
anyway, i screw the individual task do..i spoke all my points..i realised, ops..too fast..i repeat sikit.hahahahahhaha...group discussion was ok think..hehe...

i went back to cyber after that..didnt get a chance to meet them again though..haiz..nvm...got chance..! we will c again...=]



distance shall not be the factor that separates us...



peaced out
thedevil

It seems fine...

Yesterday accounting II class was kinda awkward..
not that bad as i expected...haha..
the only thing i was sufferin is..
i kept myself from yawning..
damn it..so sleepy men...
i stared at the screen so long..that the words on the screen became super blur..
then i felt my eyes so heavy..damn ..i wanna close it so badly...
i quickly stare at the table fer a while...
shiet...not working...zz
so i drank water instead..wat a relieve....
at least make me a little more conscious.. >.<
next time i should chew on peppermint sweet...haha...X)
we ended the class one hour later..i learned like 2 chapters..!
lol..the scary thing is..i have to make sure in understand...
the only person that can be ask...is me...great..

next was comp app II..
wasnt that bad at all....
the teaching techniques was different...
i will do self readin and exercises will be given..haha..
lab session i can use my own laptop...eehehehhehehe...
sounds fun.. a little bit better compare to accoun II...zz

tomoro muet...=__=
shiet...cross my finger i do well....
and God plz bless and protect my father from driving all the way here to fecth me..



im not ready yet..


peaced out
thedevil

New Technique? X)

Tomorrow is my first private lesson for Accounting II and Comp App II...!!

i have never ever ever had any private lessons..!

never ever in my entire life..!

first time experiencing it...!

wtf...lol..

luckily the lecturer is a she and not a he...

imagine staring dead into the guy lecturer eyes...

i might even burn his eyeballs off...

or who knows...i fall for his "charms" or even worst...the opposite way...o.O..

haha..looking at the bright side..they can evaluate me easily..

*ahem*

im a dedicated student..

cross my finger all my marks high....>.<

A few Hectic day Pehaps?

in an estimated of 3 days....

i have to prepare for my MUET speaking test...

not only that, i have to finish my groups business proposal..

for the business competition...

O.O...

sei kang...

haiz......

is that possible..?

cuz i already close it to the outside world...

im protecting it...

peaced out

thedevil

yay...! ^ ^

my 2nd sems result is out...!

my heart was thumping like a a racing horse...

when i check....i only c my cgpa..which is 3.95...

that was the average la..!

c ur gpa...!

thats for u this sem...

fuulamak..!

4.0...i thought i gonna screw it...

cuz i screw statistic ma...

who knows dapat A....

jeez...lol....

this sem...haha..cross my finger ba...

peaced out

thedevil

Last but not least......!

finally i can register my comp app II...yay..!!!

woaaaaaaa...dont yay so fast..!

my luck this sem not so good ah..

first day of my last sem...i excitedly dress up n ready for class...

so excited meet new classmates...

when i reach the class...the hallway was super dark...

O.O..

the class was lock..i felt like breakin the door...

so i called my lecturer..

she ask me come her office..

and to my lovingly surprise..

im the only student registered for accoun II..!!!!

she say actually this class is for the student whom failed accountin II last sem..

i was like wtf..!

i didnt fail..!

lol..anyway.,,she say if no one register..one to one lesson...

in her office..!

good or bad..!?

i also x tau..soon to experience it....!

to add my bad luck,

comp app II also sama!

go there...class lock!

ish...!..

then the lect came...face me only...!

so i think i one to one again la...

unless got ppl fail n teman me...

kns!

haiz.....no choice.......!!!!!

why o why....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz...

maybe one to one good leh!?

more high course work marks!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...hehe...

my luck improve went i enter late for english III class...

eyeballs were on me..lol...

went to the back n sit...

the lecturer..

fulamak!

garang nak mampus...!

late 15 mins no attendance..!

if i catch u smsing..get out of my class..!

wtf...strict men..aish..!

but she more energetic type la compare to the previous one...

n she was very good la..

know i come in late..

attack me first..

ask me wat my idea for academic writing..

im not prepare also..aish..

nvm nvm....

the last thing im happy...

no need do drama on stage!!!!!!

yay..!!!

need to do video again..!

but i still happy...!!!!

yay....!!!!

last...i got my jpa allowance.! yay..!! more money..!!!! yay...!!

but..!

i blame JPA for my bad luck...zz..

peaced out

thedevil

Last Day...^^

Last day of my 2nd semester break..!

nooooooooooo.......!

but my mind sayin yessssssssss....!!

at least there is something to do...lol..

better than wasting time sitting in the house restless..

haha...

tomoro class start at 8 am!

so early..i have to wake up at 530am..

n go cyberjaya at 630...great...

class until 12 pm...

then freeee the whole day..!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

unfortunately...

i will become a tour guide for one day...

my lecturer came from melaka...

have to bring him around..haha...

lol....that later have to attack FOSEE...

my comp app II haven register!

lol....

~pray my last sem would still be fun...~

p/s: oh..i cut my hair...X)

peaced out

thedevil

A Fresh Start...

a few more days my last semester for foundation is gonna start...

haiz...

why so fast ah?

i haven enjoy to the max yet..

orgh..!

there's nothing much to enjoy here anyway...

hmm...maybe it would be a little different in melaka...

haha..maybe...anyways...i gotten use to living here...

for the past semester..i did quite well in my finals..

for this current semester...i do pray i do well...cuz this semester is the toughest among all..

my last semester would be a lilttle bit easy...

i promise not to slack off..=]

i dedicate this super short post for ya...

from the bottom of my heart..

i wish you all the best in your new college..

with hope and confidence that you have..

you can achieve anything..

i've seen your attitude..

your not a type whom give up easily without a fight..

i sincerely believe you will do well..

your one of the fren i have here..

your presence have left me some happy memories..

memories that are meant to be kept..

there is sadness that ur leaving..

cuz i will loose a fren..

however, losin means im gaining..

who knows..i might find new friends like you...^^

Gambateh..

peaced out

thedevil

Super junior Idol world..!

im supposed to be sleepin...tomoro need to go back cyber for seminar...but i cant help it..

but to watch super junior idol world..!!

its hilarious..haha..i laugh alone n my parents thought im mad...

imagine a quiet afternoon with my grandma relaxing downstair..

n suddenly the sound of a person laughin madly can only be heard..lol...

haha...

addicted, babe...^^

peaced out

thedevil

Muet.....o.O....huh?

gomenasai!

suppose to blog about making jellos...but..but..im super lazy to do it..!

my mum is so gonna kill me..!

tomoro!

i promise..!

xD

oh yea...i just remembered..

MUET..!!!!

why the hell must we take this exam anyway..?

aish..!

speakin test on 13th oct..yay!

i can go down melaka...buahahahahahaha.....lucky me..i registered in melaka..=___=

i havent prepared anything yet...anyway..

wat is there to prepared?

lol..i know la...

wonder whom my group will be..

sure sui if u kena me...

haha...

peaced out

thedevil

Jelly....!

My mum keep forcing me to make those jellos..lol...ok ok..

am gonna make it this evening..!

Home made..!

Fresh...!

Stay Tune....!

^^

peaced out

thedevil

New Layout....

yay...!

i change my blog layout...bored with the old one..XDDDD

i love that tree...i so wanna be there if i could...^^

peaced out

thedevil

Super Junior....eeeek..!

one week holidays seems like a year.....lol...u c la..after my last sem start sure complain one..lol..

but my new semester quite free. not much classes. Only 3 cuz the management ppl haven approve my comp app II...aish..really free lo..haha...

today...wat i did was....hehe..woke up at 12..woops..i open my handphone n got 5 MISS CALL FROM EUNICE CHIN MEI YI!!!!!! wah...so desparate find me ah? haha..

she wan go makan...aiyo...tell me a day before than i can plan la..tell me last minute...aish..really boring ah..wanna go out...no one fetch...zz..T.T...sooo..too bad..

i went downstair tukar baju...buka tv...=___=...malasnya...haha...holiday make me so restless..

my mom said go n make jelly...aiya...lazy ah...later la...hehe...

my grandma cook soya noodles...weeeeeeeeeee...it was a lilttle bit spicy though..but i love it..!

then....went upstair ...buka laptop...mcm biasa la....

nnnnn i watch...SUPER JUNIOR SHOW....hehehhee...nice.....i love them.....XDDDDDDD

yay..! waste more time...yipeee...! =___=

my grandma cook curry....yay..!!!

peaced out

thedevil

A New Story...

Im working on a new story...since there's ntg to do..i write la..lol...will be posting up my past story i wrote soon...XD

mY nEW sTOry ElEMents......

Destiny....

Love...

Supernatural...

Making Choices...

Sacrifices...

haha...stay tune....XD

peaced out

thedevil

Gack...! Im almost bored to death..!

holiday one week also felt like committing suicide...

there is freaking ntg to do...!

watch drama also load like freaking hell long..!

lol...aish...wat to dooooooooooo...!

haha...go write story je la....

zz

peaced out

thedevil

YOSH...! finalllyyyyyyy....! XDDDDDD

after a few weeks of brain torture...my second semester is super duper finally over..lol...time do pass super quickly.. im gonna blog my whole second semester...n lastly...my final exam....XD

I started off my first semester in in Melaka...the first 2 weeks.. assignments are already piling up.. groups are already formed.. discussion have already started.. that particular day in campus...i checked the jpa portal...maaf...anda tidak dipilih...shiet...patah hati...haiz..rosak my whole damn day... then one of the night... my itchy hand went back to the jpa portal to recheck...who knows...i didnt get the overseas scholarship...but i got the local one...yay..! was so happy i almost fell down the stairs..i was delighted...yipeeeee......!!!! i didnt know that itchy hand of mine is gonna change my life forever. note the word..FOREVER...!!!! Had a discussion on Human Development video..i received a call from melaka admin statin that i have to go cyber to REGISTER JPA... they say NO NEED BRING ANYTHING....so stupidly me..went there...luckily i brought my personal documents..damn..they asked for it..then one of the people said i have to register into the hostel today itself...o.O...wth...oik...! i thought register nia...damn it... that moment...i felt like everything is crashing down...fuuuuush...my brain cells almost gone dead.. anyways...i dont have a choice though..i went to y new hostel.. i climbed all the way to the fourth floor..i almost run out of breath reaching the HIGHEST floor...jeeez... i found my room n there was a gurl n her mum there already..lucky her, she got the single bed...=__=..my dad went back to melaka n get all my stuff... ALL..!! he came back with like 6 plastic bags..plus my big black luggage...my computer bag...my carry bag...all those stuff...i was like...fourth floor men..! the guard wouldnt let my dad go up the hostel...NO MALE ALLOWED...=__=...terpaksa la.. walk up n down like 10 TIMES..!!! i think i looose almost 100 kg...=__=... after settling everything...i suddenly felt lonely..i realise i didnt even get to say proper goodbye..yesterday was like juz like any other normal day..n today was a total life changing...

more problems arise...im apparently the only january intake student in cyber who is under jpa..others are all newbies..felt super old..there are clashes between the subjects.. aish..yay me..new subjects....wopeeeee...=____=...entering a new class which started 3 weeks ago is super akward..i went in there...n the first thing i notice..all eyes were on u...great...lucky me, im the only chinese in 2 of y classes...english class was even weirder...they wont even bother on newbies entering the class...they mind their own business..atleast i get to know all my classmates in those 2 classes... i can barely remember a quarter of my classmates in english class... c'mon... why dumped me aside...! anyway...being alone is something not new to me..gotta get use to it...

first few weeks in cyber was super tough...finding classes was so confusing..lari sini lari sana...alamak eh...but......after atleast one month there...cyber seem small..haha..that happen when u wonder around...i realise that cyber food are mostly international...dude..there is only like one chinese stalls...and a few malay stalls...jeez....getting food is a problem..price of it is another!

mentioning about clubs...i joint like 4 clubs..but active in only about 3..lol..genius me..i join chinese language society.. i dont understand chinese completely though... i went to the AGM alone..why...? my fren last minute dumped me... i sat there like alone..everyone was like huhahing in chinese here n there..n clever me shutting up in a corner..sometimes, i felt as though i dont fit it..i dont belong there...aish..i dunno why...

this semester, i did join some event..why u ask me? social lo...anti social dude like me should join more..so i went to the PWC trip..an accounting trip...together with four of my frens.. we sat like in a row behind in the bus..where others sat infront...a huge wide gap separates us...we were like super noisy..cracking funny dirty jokes..doing some unmentionable actions..lol..we laugh like nobody business...but i do feel happy though...its been a while that i laugh my heart out.. mixing with them brings some joy in me..next thing i went for is the mid autumn festival..i was supposed to go with a fren..but kena ditched half way..jeez..nvm...i went anyway...aiyaaa...all speak chinese again...me stand there...play handphone..half way..i ran off..cnt tahan di...hahaha.....wonderful of me...the last thing i signed up for is the chinese new year extravagance event..lol..committee...hehe....wait next year to c it la..!

okok...last for this semester is my finals...hehehehehehehe...there is like 2 weeks before finals..and i was somewhere hanging...not yet prepared..for those 2 weeks..i stayed in the hostel...everyone went home..but i insist instayin.go back home sure xble belaja..haha..since my hostel are deserted..i went to my fren's rooom..i borrow her room..hers was first floor..easy ma..anything happen..lompat tingkap...xmati pun...XD...i stayed there and do short notes..exercises...ettc etc...sleepless night...i even felt asleep on the damn table..how did i did that?hahahahaha.....after a long exausting tiring preparation...finals...~...haha....conclusion...wait my result....then u know what i did was worth or not...

my next semester gonna be a whole lot of new challenges...btw, i only registered 3 subjects.. eng III, econ II and acc II...they haven offered comp app II...kinda free though...weee.....doesnt mean i can slacked off..!!!!!hehhehehe....

hand tired...xP

peaced out

thedevil

sumimasen...!

my blog is in a state of death...too busy lo...
i promise to blog bout the whole semester after my finals..!


^^

peaced out
thedevil

insomnia...? nah...!

the weather outside is darkening...eyer...so moody one..i wan study leh! mood spoiler....
u say go sleep..haiz....i want to sleep so badly...but i cnt seem to close my damn eyelids...i lie on the bed...n i can see the ceiling ...i closed my eyes n hope to get some sleep..but after a few mins..i open it again..... haiz......can i wish to sleep forever...to close those eyes n neva open it again....to close it from the bright light n wonder into darkness... a darkness where u do not need think bout juz stare...

haiz..


peaced out
thedevil

wargh....!! T.T...

one more week to finals!!! im still preparing..!! ish.....sob.... haiz.... i stayed in campus juz to study...n guess what...im blogging..lol..wth...haha.... why buss management so longgggggggggggggggg....
yer...so many thing to memorize leh...aduhai... human development some more...kek sei me ah! T.T...sob...MUET next month...wuu... at least can go back melaka n c my monkeys frens..!
buahahaha....zz.....

the feeling of being lonely is slowly overwhelming me again.. is not fair though...i left u guys..n now karma is bitting me in the ass... ppl are leaving me..jeez..i wonder will i ever survive next sems.. i seeem to be falling apart... i have to start to be more socialise...damn..lol..why ah..feels like so hard to talk to ppl...mybe i have no self of confidence..? or i simply dun wanna trust them..lol....ish....wake up la..!!!!!!

aish...! one more dilemma im facing...to study degree in melaka or cyber...haiz... im still thiking la.. my god.... cyber is so lonely...melaka is so friendly...not all but some.. jeez.... argh!
suan liau..



peaced out
thedevil

What a rough week...=(

This monday was supposed to be a holiday for me..i planned to go to my frens house...n do some painting...and my luck..i was sick...jeez...i could barely get up in the morning..but thnk God its a holiday..i would have died if it is a school day... i woke up at 1pm.. i know i wanted to head for the bathroom...i felt a lil bit dizzy...in the end i was kneeing hard on the floor.. i knew i felt...my knee was hurting..ooof...!...i got up n went into the toilet..i took my handkerchief n wet it...soon...i was on the floor again..jeez....nice move huh.. the third time..i really fell..i pulled the shower host off..haha...i fell on my freaking ass...it hurts...zz..lol....first time like that...my god...haha...
what a rough week...

well, all my assignments n presentation are over..i only need to focus on finals...i have 2 weeks!
haha...i plan to stay in campus..but most of my frens are heading back...i felt im gonna be the only one there...wooot...scary huh...haha....haiz..no choice..i sacrifice for finals..=]...

the next thing i realise, my next semester is gonna be boring...i will have to face the same classmates in English III. same june intake students in Econs II... and new classmates for accounting II and Computer application II... im gonna miss u guys ...haha...there will be less laughter it seems....jeez..repeat that life again..



peaced out
thedevil

My *painful* Tuesday Life...

I set my alarm clock at 7.40a.m.It rang.I turn it off.shit.thus.i woke up at 930am when my class supposed to be at 10am.T.T.and lucky me.my monthly process attack me exactly 930am.haiz.quickly ran to the toilet.brush my teeth.wet my hair n comb it as usual.wash my damn face.ran back to my room,change my clothes n stuff all my stuff into my bagpack plus my laptop.shoot.berat.argh.hungry.shit.945am already.no time.stuff biscuits in my back.wear my shoes n ran to 4th floor.fill water.ran all the way to class.class start from 10am till 4pm.two quizzes attack me at once.great.i attack accounting quiz well but i screw human development.jeez.do we need to learn all those shitty pregnancy?.my stomach ache.chew some biscuits.jeez.what an unhealthy daily meal.no choice.at 4pm.when to library to meet this dude.helped me with my laptop thingy.then finish.i walk all the way back to dorm.bought 9 pieces of nuggets.chew it all the way until almost 6pm.then go eat dinner.but i didnt eat.no appeitite.so i drank cold milo.great.worsen my condition.drag myself all the way back to 4th floor.tried to sleep.but it is freaking hot.damn.felt so sick.wake up at 730pm.on laptop.finish my slides.did my quiz.no mood.etc.etc...last..sleep...



peaced out
thedevil

My Monday Life..

Mum forces me to wake up at 5.30a.m. I thought i was still dreaming as i was tired to even move a muscle. the next call. she pulled my blanket off me. the bright ceiling light burn my eyes. i could barely lift my eyelids open. with the lazy strength i have, i try searching for my blanket with my eyes closed. aha. gotcha.those soft blanket i quickly pulled to cover my face.it felt so cozy. with the cold air making it more comfortable.the last call came in.i know i wasnt dreaming.ok.ok.time to wake up.i forced my eyelids to open n face the bright light.argh.how i wanted to sleep more.walk lazily down my double decker bed.whops.careful.not to fall. i drag my body into the wet toilet.searched for my green toothbrush.found it.take it.rinse with water.covered it with toothpaste.hmm..mint flavor.as fresh as possible.stared at the mirror.told myself.new day.new hope.new obstacles.brushed my teeth.rinsed.wash my face.done.went down stair with two damn heavy bags on my shoulder.ouch.change into my clothes.comb my short hair.watered it here n there.walah.all dressed up.no make up.XD.went to the dining table.sat down on the hard wooden chair.stared at the cup of milo with the layer all dried up.closed my eyes n stirred it.dont wanna c where that dry layer ended up. drank it down my throat.ah.nice.wore my watch,bangles,n rings.take my bag.hop into the car.dad drove all the way to cyber.what a sleepy journey.reach.got down.2 bags on my shoulder.one file.one carry back.n my lunch.kiss dad goodbye.walk all the way to the fourth floor.my back.ouch. open the door slowly.roomate was still asleep.the sun was not up.put my stuff down.change clothes.n went to bed again.ahhh.woke up at 10.check email.fb.reply email.change into all black outfit.stuff books into bags.purse.wear my stocking and sportshoes.my ipod on.walk all the way to fosee.then.walk to FOM.after that,felt super stressed.went to library.borrowed 2 books.went to classes.gosh.more work.finally.went back at 4pm.eat.study.rest.haiz.then went to table tennis.played a while.went to CLS meeting alone.wow.really alone.god.went back at 10pm.eat mcd.studied.now blog.the end.



peaced out
thedevil

Pictures...

let picture express it...my life in cyber....XD






























Peaced out
thedevil

it has to come to an end

well....what ever happen...it has to come to end rite?
maybe its already the end....
u move that way...i move this way.....i didnt expect it to happen this way...
since there is no way out, the only solution, u guys forget it n move ur own way...
easier rite? dont u think so...?
u wont cause trouble for each other..
aish.....after writing a blog super super long for u guys..
also x jadi...xlaku...
nvm la..i leave it to u guys...whatever u wanna do with that relationship we use to have,
up to u .... im just merely a part of that friendship dumped over here..
i wanted to be there so badly... ..then maybe it dont have to be this way...jeeez...
i dont wanna think about it, but my brain wont leave it alone...haiz...!!!!
nvm la...as time passes..who knows...i;ll be the first to forget...

***********************************
lately, i seem to be walking to class alone..jeez...sounds pathetic rite?
haiz....this happen when u r forced to start new....
i accept the fact that i have to do it..
its kinda depressing though to be walking alone in the big area accompanied by sad music..aish!
why am i complaining ehh?
so that i can express what i felt n feel relieve after that...
english class is making me frustrated...
u damn team mates...
haiz...............!!!!!!!
i did all the summary fuckingly alone..n have sleepless night thiking how to complete it..
when u guys can go skiiping around having fun...
when the lect ask, did all these guys contribute?
i was like...yes, they did....cuz u stupid ppl are standing next to me!
but im not satisfied...! after u guys went out...haha..too bad...ur gone, babe...
definitely gone for life...
haiz...then maybe later also i gone...aish...

atleast, there is still some fren whom is willing to talk to me...
yea...some...jeez...


peaced out
thedevil

let me see....hmm..

its been quite some time since i blogged...lol...im not lazy ok?! juz no time..haha..giving reasons..lol..
anyways, the past few days was not exactly pleasant for me...im infected by allergies!! noooo!!
haha....i thought it was the dust...but then..i finally found out, it was cats! grrr...!
i should kick every cat i see...! lol... haiz...touch only ma...aduhai... i can barely sleep men!
itchy here n there...my leg swollen...= =...i felt like skinning of my skin..lol....anyways, it finally go off...weeeeeeeeeeeee.......hehe....

next, jpa..! damn u...where is my allowance la......i need money.............! its has been one and the half month..! lol..cepat cepat! haha.... oh yeah...my phd video present already!!!! wo hooo...!!!
do u know that it is very very very VERY...akward to see urself in the video...i can barely stare at the screen!!! haha...swt.'....

btw, i joined mmu melaka closed for table tennis..lol..why la i did it? i aint that good though...wuuu... aish...nvm la...gain experience ma...the training on monday was like hell..! wuush! there is this senior...wow..u should see his passion in table tennis..haha...he is the first person i;ve seen so far that is VERY passionate in table tennis...he did help me though...i watch the video he showed to me on how to play over n over again..lol...i nt sure whether i get it right though..haha...then he teach me how to smash...hahaha...smash..smash..! haha....
then around 9pm, most of them went back...left four of us..haha...we played double.. well, that is one of the best memory i can get in cyber so far....XDDDD

oh...i got 17.75 over 20 for mid term accounting...nooooooooooo!!!!!.. oik! not high enough ar!? well, NO..! haha...because ppl can get 19.95...no fairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...! haha...im gonna work like hell men...buahahahahahhaha....lol.....ok ok....


peaced out
thedevil

i have no idea....=(

this post i specially dedicated to u 3 monkeys in melaka...u know who u are...
well, i cannot say much, cause im not there to witnessed it with my own eyes...
i dont know how it started.. what happen... why it happen... the only thing i know, there is not yet an ending to it... i wonder why it happen after i left la.. who have it gotta happen between u guys? haiz.... let me juz ask u guys simple questions...

-do u guys still treasure the friendship that u have created?
-do u guys still care for the friendship that u have?
-do guys even bother taking care?
-do guys have the feeling of emptiness in ur life now?
(i do.. cause i left u guys...there is stiill a hole in my soul that i uncovered)
-dont u guys have feelings?


if u say yes, plz... i beg of u all...sit down...talk to each other.. the problem that u have against each other...blurt it out.. make each other realise whats wrong... i dont want this friendship to juz end like that... a true friendship bond cannot be easily formed just like that...i know that, because i myself am experiencing the hardship of it..u guys are surrounded with good, kind and caring friends...why r u destroyin it over small matter? i really beg u all to think over...think of the hapiness we use to feel when we were together...the genuine laughter n smile we shared... that memories we used to have are genuine..they are not fake... they are never fake...

if u say no, i dont care about it... ok fine...basically, ur saying that ur not going to care anymore.. maybe ur tired or sick about it? are u really sure...? if u really really do not want to care...ok... up to u... maybe ur not fit enough for the friendship bond...or maybe this friendship are not meant to be... if u really can turn ur back away n walk out of this friendship that we together have created... then go ahead...i will throw red carpets for u... u walk on it n never turn back... u people do not realise do u? do u know how hard is it to make true friends? i myself can barely get enough friends here... most of them are having a gang of their own..and im isolated at the corner..without those friends, do u know how miserable life could be?..

people do change in life.. u cannot expect him/her to be like that forever.. we change...we change due to the environment around us..due to the friends we hang out with... i myself cannot guarantee i will not change...i have to change to adapt to the condition i am in now... the only thing u guys can probably do is compromise... cope up with each other attitude.. if that person is changing towards the negative side, pull him/her back...remind him/her of who he really was.. if he/her is changing for the better...do let it... like i say, u cnt keep a person the way u want forever..its impossible..

and u... u may not realise ur changing...listen to ur friends whom is telling u...they have eyes.. they can see whther ur changing or not way better than u do...because u urself may not know...believe the words of the friend u trust.. this will help u.. u may say.."i where got change? i am still the same me"... r u 100% sure? ask urself this....am i still the old me... like i say people do change...look around at the friend u are hanging most with now.. the type of friends u hang out with will have the biggest impact on ur attitude n ur behaviour... ur in college now..ur not going back home where ur parents live... u r more often with ur peers.. choose wisely of whom u hang out with....

maybe i say too much... i can barely have a good rest without thiking about this matter.. i kept thiking why does this have to happen..each of u are stubborn... my gawd..like hell u are... i cant help much...as im in cyber..hours away from ur campus...i do wish i was there..then maybe this would not happen....maybe...jeeeez.....

one last wish from me, plz do sit n talk out ur problems among u guys...juz the 3 of u... no third party involve..they will make thing worst...can u guys do that?



peaced out
thedevil

am i having gastric...???? =(

after few weeks starting my 2nd trimester in cyber.. the schedule was kinda pack.. mostly there is no lunch hour... God.. maybe i didnt manage it well.. i skipped lunch quite often...hey..i cnt do anything bout it.. there was no time..zzz... and now...padan muka me... stomach sudah sakit.. i dont know why.. it only hurt sometime... n when it hurts wuuu... its unbearable...T.T.... jeez...i should have plan my meal well... haiz....


anyway, yesterday was quite tiring but fun... after class at 4pm.. me n my other 3 friends took the bus all the way to presint 8 in putrajaya...to buy the cupcakes...oh yeah..btw, we are selling cupcakes this thursday...cross my finger it goes well... haha... then later... we took an awesome long journey walking to one of my friend house n it was raining...lol..blessing from the God perhaps? haha.... i felt my backbone is gonna break... my bag was damn heavy..lol... making the icing was a success...hahahahahaha...plz God.. i do hope we get to sell those cupcakes...=]


~sweet tooth cupcakes~


peaced out
thedevil

my faith and hope..

the hope i put in u is now gone..
the hope i once hope..
is slowly dissapearing....
the feeling is now getting dimmer n dimmer...
a sense of relieve perhaps..?
no more sense of belonging..
only the sense of hatred..
the sense of independent..
the sense of being alone..

faith come n go..
but mine was still there..
until now...
but that faith is killing me...
its preventing me..
preventing me to feel the others....
but now the faith is gone..
not slowly...but completely...

its time for me to live the life i once lived...
the life where there's only me..
nobody but me...
living in my own damn life..
i screw my whole semester...
but now...im given a chance.. to start new...
that the sign....


my faith n hope is no more there..



peaced out
thedevil

i feel a little bit better.....?

wow...yesterday i felt like giving up... sheeesh... why this happenin to me...?! why oh why oh why...T.T...maybe im being tested...lol....nooooo...... ish ish....

my feelings are somehow mix up..im not sure whether am i supposed to do this...or not... arggh.. why my brainn wont leave me alone...! stop thinking, u bitch... ur not the only facing problems..! grow up...! zzz...im basically giving myself a piece of my mind... who knows...one day i might expllode at themm... then...habis my foundation year...XD

well... lets take the risk... lets see how i overcome this problems...haha...i dont give up that easily although i do yesterday... but i wont go down easily until i own whats mine... if i give up now, c'mon.. no need study la...go get married n become housewife better... hahaha...wow..i curse myself..XDD...choi.... lol... i studied hard enough to get my ass all the way until now.. haha.. i've overcome more assholes problems.. so why cant i handle this one now? well...i can...can i?

all i have to do...is to believe in what i am capable of.. life is never easy.. babe... face it.. an easy life is a life without risk...when there is no risk... u will never learn... n life will be dull.. there is no fun or excitement in it.... i do not plan to live a dull life... it will be boring dude..! hahhaha...
i dont wanna my uni life to be like that... i wan to fill it with excitement beyond my expectations.. i want to know how far can i go..how far i can strive...how far can i stretch.. to go beyond my limitations.....

i definitely feel better now...=]


peaced out
thedevil

fucked up....=(

something is not right with me these few days...i have a sense that my coursework marks is gonna be little... a newbie starting in a new group is definitely having trouble with finding group members for the group workkk...

I dont want my cgpa drop juz because im unable to score my coursework marks... but there is ntg i can do...human development video is like in two weeks time...and the script is not even prepared...wtf men... jeez.. we're supposed to discuss it but the members are tired n wnted to go bck home...c'mon people... haiz..... how r we suppose to finish it on time... i have fucking no idea...
God...dont do this to me.....T.T...

not only that...english presentation...worse..! we're supposed to find an article...n this bloody shit guy dont know what the hell he find..and its bout school dicipline in overseas school..n the content is like all facts...oi dude...think abit la...how to summarize...i find an article about kidney which so damn fucking easy...wanted to show u..but u are always fucking never in class...damn men! haiz.................................................

i using all the damn bad words... god... not to mention next sems coursework mark..sure die.. haiz...! god kill me la...im damn fucking stressed up......jeez!


peaced out
thedevil

its not fair...

its not fair for u to do this...
i had let go... after all the trouble i went..
now ur doing this...

have u ever consider...??


peaced out
thedevil

my 2nd week in cyber....^^

so far....im getting used to the area in cyber...at first it may seem super big(which is still big) but after a while venturing here n there..who knows...the place is not that big after all..haha.. my uncle maybe sending me a bike ..hahah...cycle to class...ppl will be thiking how super weird i am..lol...no la..maybe juz cycle around..
lets see...what had happen so far this week...
well... so far... tues n thurs will be my busiest day for this sems.. from morning daylight till super dark late night...haha... why? class----archery----table tennis...i sendiri cari pasal..haha.. lol...
live life to the max..thats what im doing..dont wanna waste time staring into space..haha.. so i utilize my time to the max..which makes me tired.zzzzz....haha...
anyway, there was an AGM for table tennis..haha..quite fun though...btter than the acheries..had a match...haha..my group won second...wohooo...haha..swt..

for all the years i have been playing table tennis, i never did know the real technique...lol..my school doesnt hire trainees.. haiz...what to do... learn from some where la..
haha.. anyway..i juz simply love playing table tennis...it reminds me of the past... haha...but i do wish to learn new techniques though..mine sucks..haha..

i do gain new friends by joining more clubs...some how, it gives me the sense of belonging... which the matter of fact im lacking of it now..hha...

oh yea.. the hostel management finally able to but one more extra cupboard and table for the room since its suppose to be 3 person per room... they finally made it after 11 years...thats so weird...==...11 years men...MMU so poor meh??????????

MMU- money making university...also so poor...god men..

now my room goona be super pack..nooooooooooooooooo.....haiz..no choice lo..haha...
presentation next week...shoot!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
T.T


peaced out
thedevil

c'mon guys..im not that bad..

this is one of the most embarassing day of my life...
am i that bad?
i know my physical is not as "hot" as others...
but c'mon ppl...its only acting...
what am i bloggin??
u see.. my cyber group had a discussion for our HD video project..
f.y.i..im the only chinse gurl in it...
they wanna do a part where a scholarship student get attracted to the opposite sex..
so i took the role...
next, my "lover"..
any volunteer...?
as u know, all the guys in my group are international...
haiz....and u know what!?
non of them want the role..!!!
i was like...what the....ok.... fine...shit u ppl...
its only acting....haiz...
why u ppl like that......
the feeling of rejected...walau eh.....


T.T

peaced out
thedevil

my hell life...

its one week i've been in cyber...and all the post i posted was so negative..haha...no more post like that.. lets post what i have been going through this whole week...XDDD..

the uni itself is...er...haha....its big..but i admit..its ok la... not that bad... at first..when i come here.. my negative thought took over my damn brain..lol..but after a while..evrything is ok... the lecturers here are quite better than melaka.. the accounts teacher are super good...lol.. this does not apply to my econs teacher..mr lim jim.. to say the truth, he is one of the best tutor that has ever thought me.. unlucky me, im gonna miss his business management class.. but im very happy to get to know him.. he even help me in my presentation for business management that is coming up... i really do appreciate him...and i misses him...XD

the food here...=__=..melaka better lo...like duh... i can only find one chinese stall here.. mostly are malay and iranian food..what the hell men.. ish ish... mamak pun sikit...dah lah sikit mahal pulak..mampus la my pocket money...haiz... whatever also... sini boleh loose weight.. haha..melaka is surrounded by nice and unhealthy food..haha... sometimes..i dont feel like eating..the food here are not appetizing at all...haha..

so far here...there is 2 things that make my life feel like hell!... my room in my hostel is like on the 5th floor..the highest... my gawd.... i have to climb up at down men..!!! sometimes carry my heavy laptop bag sumore..mati la me...lol...but on the bright side..i can loose weight...=]]]...
the 2nd thing...the showers...walau eh...hari hari mandi air sejuk... i will freeze to death men..! haiz..shower in the evening also so cold..apatah lagi shower in the night... rasa macam dalam peti ais....T.T.... my body system.. faster la adapt to the cold water...haha...

peers...haiz...the major problem...now improving la..not that bad...haha... the thought of missing melaka's frens... i put it aside...not to say i dun mizz u guys..i do.. but temporarily it is shut down.. somehow..its disturbing me.. haiz..at last i manage to control it....

last week was the registeration for clubs..although i did that 3 weeks ago in melaka..=__=..wth..
no choice..i did it again.. this time..i change..diff from melaka..at first... i join archery club.. next, chinese language society...weird me..haha...im learning ok..XDD...they got guitar class too..muahahah...can learn...weeee........ then i sign up for accounting club...haha... mu future degree... that is so far i joined...then on last friday..my fren showed me the flyers for table tennis club...haha..i was thiking...join or no...in the end...i joined....and i went to the training yest..3 hours...0.0...haha..but it was worth it..XDD

that particular club... i saw a guy... i thought i saw him before..he ask me whether has he seen me before..i said no...haha...then when i think back..i realise..he came to my house before...he was my mum's best friend's son...haha... in the end, he ask me again...then..walah...we know each other.. although he rarely come to my house for cny...haha...destiny? nah....

what else to talk..?
haha...i dunno....hehe..thats all for this post....

~guy hunting mode on~


peaced out
thedevil

Darn it....

its 830 in the morning and i am blogging...
dunno why suddenly i have the urge to blog...
since i've been here...only this blog i am able to express what i felt...
no one here are willing to listen... not because they are not exactly not willing...
but because i havent put my trust in them...
why am i being like this..i nt sure why...
as i went through that website... the feeling of joy over there causes me sorrows over here..
i can only look and imagine...but i cannot feel the same u ppl did...
i wanted to feel tht feeling again...
but somehow it seems impossible...
every night is a sleepless night... there is always something that me thiking..
the place here is lonely...but somehow i will manage..
i dont wanna spoil my current life..as i am gonna go through this for another 4 years...
but hell, i do miss the joy of being over there..surrounded by the warmness of friendship..
the word friendship are somehow getting smaller here..

will it dissapear...? God Knows..


peaced out
thedevil

...

ppl may say anything at first that touches your heart..
and i felt for it.. i believe that u all meant it..
but sooner or later..i realize...those are just words..
even an unknown stranger by the roadside could say that...
so at the first place, why did u fall for it..?
because i believe it.. but now..everythin is just an illusion..
time erodes the past we had...time erase bit by bit the memories we kept..
until there is no more left.. and we go our separates ways...
i suddenly felt lonely... because i just realize somethin that i would never one to know..
i accept the fact however... u go ur own way.. i go my way...


~friendship... real?~


peaced out
thedevil

its time to move on, babe..

i cannot sit down here crying..depressing..complainin..on how life is not fair..because life is always not fair...at first i wanted it so badly...and i depressed not getting it...then God took sympathy on me and give me another chance.. but He did not give it just like that..He put a test on me.. testing my courage..testing whether am i able to handle such difficulty...however...i gave up on the first few days ... because the pain of loosing u guys are so much bigger... the pain of not seeing u are way greater than i ever expected.. i couldnt blend in at the first place..everything was to fast... too fast that i juz sat there n stare out my window..my mind went blank that moment.. even if the tears roll down...i wouldnt bother u wipe it off... it felt as though i lost everythin..everything i wish that i could have until i graduate...the friends that i wish to have... but now..its all gone.. the friends i have here im not sure whether they can be called friends.,..they are not as friendly as u guys.. maybe my mind is manipulating me... my heart shutdown..and thats why i may misjudge ppl around me... i walk alone for the few days...ate alone... why all this negative feeling surrounds me?... is it because i cnt accept the fact that i am here n not there? i want to stop this negative feelings...i want to live my life as though ntg has ever happen... let it be a memory.. where it can never be seen again...but only kept in the very bottom of my heart...

God..i will accept the challenge u behold to me.. i am not a giveuper.. i never am and never will.. because i once said..i will never regret in the decision i made... i accept it and i must face the consequences and make the best out of it... i may lost u guys but i will gain new ones..thats the lesson of life.. we let go of the past... we live the present to the max..and we plan for a better future... i may not have alot of friends now..but i will soon gain more.. i may not know what will happen tomoro...but i can plan for it... i may suffer because of the past... but i will put it aside and look at the bright side.. i may not beaR it and depressed again again...but i will get up again...i will tell myself..there is ntg easy in life...there is always sacrifices we have to make..either good or bad..its up to me on how i think about it..i sacrifice u guys for the sake of a scholarship that would do great for me n my parents...thats the sacrifice i made.... will that be the only one..? loosing friends...no...there will be still more ahead to come...sacrifices that are 10 times worser than loosing friends.. that is the challenge i will soon have to face...

from now on...i will move on..i will live my days like those days i use to.. i will make it a better life to live..i will find new friends that will accompany me... i will not sit down n depress for what cnt be change... i swear i will make my life a better one...


~forget the past...live the present...plan the future~




peaced out
thedevil

what i have to say...

this is one of the worst week i ever have in my entire life...at first...i was darn happy i got jpa..yeah me...wohoo...it stated there i must register at melaka campus..i thought i could continue in melaka..then last thurs melaka admin called and said that i have to go to cyber to register jpa.. then i ask about the melaka one..they said it was wrong...okayy...i got a sense tht i might be studyin in cyber.. but i kept that thought away n hope it doesnt come true.. haiz....who know..when i go on tues... they say must study in cyber... wuuuuuuu..... i was like....shoot...!

they have to register into the hotel that day also...i have no choice...i told them i already started in melaka...but they say continue here..god damn it..i havent prepare yet.... haiz....anywayz... my dad brought all my stufff that very day...and i move in into the hostel... all my work in melaka was undone...everything was half way... my project...my work....

my dear friends...my god..how much i misses u guys... everything goes to sudden...and now i feel an emptiness in my soul...it was pullen away too fast... too fast that i have no time to hold onto it.. im very sorry if i didnt say a proper goodbye... this wasnt meant to be...but i make my decision anyway... i have to continue...i never quit on somethin...i have to fnish it to the end...give me some time...i wll find a day where i can go back n meet u all again...

after a few days they took to arrange my timetable as im the only jpa scholar whom gonna continue my studies here..they finnaly arranged it...im taking 5 subjects this semester...

-Bussiness Management
-Business Statustic
-English II
-Accounting I
-Human Development...

i feel so stressed up..there is project n assignments... haiz...i have to put all my feelings aside and focus...

no mood to blog anyway...



peaced out
thedevil

at last...!

after months of waiting for those damn scholarships..
and after a few times kena rejected..
finally....one accepted me...=]
i am now officially under jpa scholarship...
unless some unexpectedly happen...
cross my finger it wont....! ><
haha.....
although i didnt get the scholarship to overseas..
atleast i get la..
no need to burden u too much already...=]
i thx God for helping me...

ok ok...
so long didnt update.....
why o why o why..
sick lo...cough lo..
some human being pass their disease to me..
sorry jess...u also kena di...=(
anyways.....
this week i registered 4 clubs...!
haha...hope i can manage all of it...hahhahaha...
simply go take so many...
well...i joined archery,fencing, SPB and SIFE.... lol..
i did went for the tryout for archery..waliau men.,..
i hold the acher until my hands feels like dropin off...
anyway..it was fun..=]
then, i did went to my first fencing meeting..
i learned their steps..and now leg cramp..=="
haha...first time ..nvm lo..can tahan di....
tomoro SPB meeting....wohooo...!
haha....

today, my group for human development, we planned finish how to do our video!!
yosh..! cant wait to get started...! i trust my group members..
we can do it...haha...because our plans was awesome..XDDDD
XD



peaced out
thedevil